Blahverts Law of Woo on the Web

The length of a web page is directly proportional to the amount of woo it contains

* this means a single article on a page that goes on and on, not a page made up of lots of articles

So a few examples....

johnbenneth.wordpress.com/2011/01/05/fire-pz-myers/

www.endoftheworld2012.net

www.atlantisbook.com

www.ufos-aliens.co.uk/cosmicapollo.html

etc....

End of the World!

Which "End of the World" you may ask, there being so many around. This is the October 21st 2011 end of the world. The "rapture" will happen a bit before that on May 21st 2011. Worst case scenario - 6 months with no godists whining and praying pointlessly! :)

This is predicted by a small group who wish to warn everyone that we are all about to die. Seems a bit pointless, why panic people? Happily I can report that they are are wrong and are deluded fools or have found some way to make money out of this.

You can find this particular end of the world at www.wecanknow.com. The domain expires on July 18th 2011 at which point I'm gonna grab it and take the piss :) Though I reckon they will renew it themselves before then.

Religidiot on Facebook

This made me laugh on Facebook. Basically some idiot stated

Fact- if the earth was 10 ft closer to the sun we would all burn up and if it was 10 ft further we would freeze to death... God is amazing!

Someone then replied with the correct astronomical facts making the original poster look like the complete idiot that they are.

Just to add my little bit of input, some other facts which the original poster was too stupid to consider:

• If 10 foot made a difference, surely climbing up a ladder/building/hill would be hazardous.
• The Earth spins, taking you up to 4000 or so miles closer and further away from the Sun each day (in relation to the Earths axis), which makes a 10 foot difference just a tad insignificant.

I loved the posters response to the facts, basically putting fingers in ears and saying loudly "Na na na na dont want to hear the truth na na na na ". Wonder where they picked up that little "fact"?

Mind Your Own Campaign
As reported in the Archbishop Cranmer blog, they have launched a "Mind Your Own" campaign, so you don't have to state your religious status in the 2011 UK census, probably due to embarrasment I suppose.

The bit that made me laugh was the quote from Article 9 of the European Convention on Human Rights, 'everyone has the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion'. Fine, is a census trampling on that right? No! It's merely asking what your religious affiliation is, so what are they whinging about?

I also note, as quoted on that blog that part 4 of the article states...

 4. A belief (i) must not be trivial (ii) must be consistent with basic standards of human dignity or integrity and (iii) must be coherent, in the sense of being intelligible and capable of being understood

Surely part 4iii discounts all religions? Certainly none of them are intelligible.

England Out of the World Cup

The England team were shockingly bad. Really really bad. We just made it easy for Germany, not that they weren't good!

Fabio, what were you thinking? You can't blame it all on one crappy refs decision.

Thats one refereeing team that won't be visiting England for a long time though.

Pope Wants Extra Special Treatment For Catholic Church

At least, I guess that is what he is asking for Why does he think his child raping priests are above the law? I reckon he has just spent too many years in the church and has become institutionialised, thinking that as it is so important to him then is must be important to everyone when he couldn't be further from the truth.

Hopefully the Italian police will raid Vatican City before he can set foot in England!

Put Them In Jail, Maybe They Will Be On The Receiving "End"

Belgium police have raided the HQ of the catholic church there due to child abuse allegations. This will be worth watching! Lets hope the frock wearing abusers get slung in jail and make some "close" new friends there, get a piece of their own medicine.

Go on Italian police, have the courage to do the same in your own country.

Watch Football and Die

Aren't some Islamists twats! Watching football in Somalia is banned by those ignorant stone-age brained (and thats probably being cruel to cavemen) members of Hizbul-Islam, yet one more religious group who think they have all the answers.

Their spokes-idiot, one Sheikh Mohamed Abdi Aros said that "It is a waste of money and time and they will not benefit anything or get any experience by watching mad men jumping up and down". Strangely enough, that's exactly what I thought watching video of them driving round Mogadishu in Japanese 4x4s shooting Russian rifles and murdering each other. Idiots. I think I'll do draw some pictures of Mo.

Noah's Ark Zoo Farm

Its so embarrassing when you find there is something like this in the UK, its very "Kentucky". OK, so it's a nice little animal park and I'm sure the animals are happy and well looked after. But really, putting stuff about a big mythical sky man creating the world under a web page called "research" is having a laugh. Apparently they have some "important evidence" to give me about this. So we have lovely quotes like this

[Darwinism] takes the evolution that is clear to us all and extrapolates it backwards to imply there is no need for a God or a Creation

Er, well evolution doesn't imply there is no god, god isn't mentioned in evolutionary theory at all. It's the other way round, you are implying there is a god. Why would you do that?

Darwinism purports to be scientific, but has no theory of how the atoms and all the laws of physics and nature should "be there"

Well, no of course not, why would you expect Darwinism to cover particle physics? Thats for physicists to do.

Researchers notice "design" in every cell and function

No they don't, and you promised me some evidence, where is it?

We argue the case for a new approach encompassing a creator God AND pre-programmed evolution to provide variation and adaptation.

Well you can argue that if you wish. I think you just made it up. Still it should be an interesting arguement.... oh hang on, I got to the end of the paragraph. No arguement. Just a link to a woo site.

Then there is their Was it a true story page, about Noahs ark. So what is their evidence...oh yeah, Biblical scripture. Mmmm, thats 100% trustworthy isn't it.

Some kind of vessel in which a righteous man kept representatives of every animal kind occurs in nearly all flood legends. We can draw a number of conclusions from this. First, the ark was a real vessel, not a fanciful addition to the story.

So based on "legends" we can conclude the ark was a real vessel? How does that work then? Based on my "legends" there is no god. Why is my legend less valid? So it was an addition to a story, and a most fanciful one at that!

the Flood was a global event

So where is all the water? What is the mechanism for enough water to cover all land to fall out of the sky and then just flow away somewhere? Oh yeah, god did it, how convenient. The rest of the "evidence" on this page is circular thinking so not worth dwelling upon.

Lets just end with pretty much their last comment on the subject.

This is where faith enters and sadly where Dawkins, amongst others, lack the understanding of its importance: God has chosen to remain hidden, for us to exercise faith; without which we cannot please him.

So I lack the understanding of faiths importance? Yup, thats definitely true. Very happy about that though they seem to imply its a bad thing...? As for the god bit, well the whole thing seems a bit pointless doesn't it? Makes him sound like some kind of preening meglomaniac.

Please, stick to looking after animals, not preaching.

God at the Giants Causeway

Some Irish religidiots want a natural history display at the Giants Causeway to give all the credit to their god. Can just imagine can't you, you first let one get his little myth in the museum and then some other group decides its missing out on some publicity so tries to get its own fairy story included. Before you know it the amount of crap being displayed completely overwhelms the original information. It would start to look like a church!

The article quotes one godist as saying "All we are asking for is that the views that we hold, which are based on the Word of God, are at least respected and taken on board". Er, no, why should they be respected? You have to earn respect and you don't get any by just making stuff up.

BoobQuake

Support the BoobQuake! Monday April 26th is BoobQuake day, get the tinned food suppliess stashed away, store water and prepare for the end of the world.

This all started cos some idiot in Iran (a professional theist, how did you guess?) stated that earthquakes were caused by women dressing immodestly therefore angering his god into causing an earthquake. So BoobQuake day involves lots of women dressing immodestly in order to trigger a quake. Let's see what happens.

On a slight side note, it shows that this cleric doesn't think much of his gods powers. If I was a god and was angered by such things I would just send down a lightning bolt to take out the offender, not wipe out thousands of my faithful followers in a clumsy earthquake episode.

Catholic Church So Shakey That Humour Can Hurt It

After all the talk of child raping priests and general corruption in the catholic church, all the way up to the pope comes the news that ahead of His Cultishness' visit to the UK a memo has been leaked from the Foreign Office which contained a list of "frivolous" agenda items for the visit later in the year. Now that is has been leaked and various theists are up in arms about it. Who gives a toss if they are insulted or that is shows a lack of taste. I think it shows a decided lack of taste to rape children but the catholic church is just hunkering down, putting its fingers in its ears and going"la la la we can't hear you" about that. Take the piss out of them and they get all huff and puff and say its not good enough. The double standards are breathtaking in their audacity.

And then you have a look at the list. Well actually that "foolish list" is kinda sensible, I'd like to see the catholic church actually help people instead of lying and raping its way across the world. The only bad idea is the "benedict condoms". I mean, would you trust a condom made by them?

So come on UK government, don't apologise for the list, tell the Vatican to make it policy and that such items will be on the agenda when the pope visits the UK, especially if we have to pay for his holiday. If we are paying for it I want to see him have to complete the Total Wipeout course!

All Bow To Our New Homeopathic Masters

The homeopathic bomb has been developed, be afraid. By adding a small amount of explosive to water and then diluting it until there is no explosive left you will have an immensely more power bomb. I'm scared.